~monaloca~

The first half of 2009 has been absolutely ridiculous for our family. It started with Joey’s job loss on his first day back in January, and ended with my pregnancy loss just last week. In between we had an insanely expensive pipe break under our house (it was made in 1914 of terra cotta - tree roots finally broke through); a jumbled re-fi (lucky for us, it ended up working to our advantage); Joey’s four-month stint working for a narcissistic madman and his ensuing second job hunt in the worst economy in two generations; uncertainty about my own job; intermittent violence in our neighborhood (at least it’s brought us closer to our neighbors); and lots of little everyday craziness to fill in the gaps.

I’m still dealing with emotions surrounding the miscarriage, and those are either for another post or another medium altogether. But I can guarantee this: The feelings would be infinitely harder to deal with if Joey and I hadn’t both found job stability (and dare I say happiness) in the last month. I realized this over-arching need for security - of both finances and routine - when talking to a friend right around the time our pipe broke and the dishwasher failed. Things break, especially when you own a home. It’s an inconvenience on many levels, but you deal and move on. When you don’t have day-to-day job security (or are miserable in the one you have, or at worst don’t have one at all) everything feels exponentially worse.

Overall, things have started to go right for us again. It’s a trend I hope to continue. New (good) jobs, a trip to Alaska in just one week, happiness at preschool, and a more solid conviction that we do want to expand our family (and as a result, likely our house too). To a certain extent, all this is to the future to decide. As long as we’ve found our grounding again, we’ll be fine. And we have. The timing couldn’t be more perfect: The second half of 2009 begins today. Because I’m a firm believer in new beginnings and am slightly superstitious with marks on a calendar, I hereby declare this a special day.

Happy new half-year, to all of us who need to start anew.

The photos have little to do directly with this post, other than our children, bio and step, are always new beginnings. One relates a little more directly to special starts. Melina recently received a late birthday present from Linnea and Joy: the dresses they wore as flower girls at our wedding. Melina felt that instead of pink cowboy boots or sparkle shoes (which Joy and Linnea used to accessorize on the big day) she needed Mama’s new hiking hat. Just look at my lovely little girl.

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Melina hates having anyone mess with her hair. (This is why she has bangs.) But I put my own hair in pigtails over the weekend, and this prompted her to want the same. Obviously I could use a little practice making them straight on my little girl, though she didn’t mind. Kai decided it would be fun to add some color to Meli’s new ‘do - and to his own hair. Crazy kids!

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Graduations. Things are officially on the move at the Rapoza household. Last Friday Kai celebrated his last day of kindergarten and Melina her last day of baby/toddler daycare. Bright and early Saturday morning we packed ourselves and loads of snacks into the car for a six-hour trek down to South Pasadena to visit with Auntie Cyndie and Uncle Rich, and later that evening drove another hour to Rancho Cucamonga to celebrate cousin Kyle’s high school graduation.

So Cal. We stayed down south for three nights and also got to catch up with Grandma Rapoza, visiting from Hawaii and celebrating her 80th birthday. We were even able to work in a visit with my cousins Joel and Dianna and their three kids. My favorite Kai moment of the trip: As we left their house Kai asked, “You’ll remember where they live, right?” Sure, why? “I want to have another playdate with them.” He’d conveniently forgotten the six-hour car ride the previous day.

Potty Time! Big Melina moment on the trip: She used the big potty at Auntie Cyndie’s house! She’d asked to use the one at Joel’s earlier in the day, then asked again right after bath. This time it actually worked. She was thrilled and Kai, watching along with Joey and me, couldn’t stop clapping and screaming with pride for his little sis. She’s now asked consistently to use the potty every evening, and has been largely successful. I’m not holding my breath yet, but what a great milestone in the making!

New Job. Things didn’t stop with our return to Berkeley. Joey started a new job mid-week, and so far loves it. (Ok, who doesn’t love a first week? Hoping it sticks!) Melina also officially started at Kai’s old preschool. On her first day I’d planned to pick her up right before nap, but her teacher said to call at lunchtime to see how she was doing. I did, and she was fine, so I let her stay through her nap. (According to Miss L she talked herself to sleep saying “Mama come soon, Mama come soon…” Oooooh my baby! I did come soon after!)

New School. When I picked her up mid-afternoon the teachers couldn’t believe how well she did, and Miss C had a funny story to tell: Apparently a little boy grabbed a toy from her hand while she was playing. Melina didn’t scream or cry or bop the little kid on the head. She firmly grabbed the toy back, gave him an ever-so-slight nudge on the shoulder along with a look of death, like “don’t you DARE do that again, this was MINE!” and then walked away. Miss C’s commentary? “That’s my kinda girl!”

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A week after her second birthday, what’s our little girl up to?

Over the past month, Melina has burst into song. She sings herself to sleep most nights (and sometimes tries to pull in Kai but this is the only time he completely ignores her), and often sings as she plays, bathes, or rides in the car. Her favorites refrains include: “baa baa black sheep,” (she gets through the whole song on her own) “ee-i-ee-i-o,” “happy… to you,” “little bunny foo foo,” “ashes, ashes, all fall DOWN!,” “itty bitty spider,” and “twinkle twinkle star.”

After I weaned Melina, I would recite “Goodnight Moon” as I put her down to sleep each night. Now she’s asking for something different: “Maisy Bus!” I sing several verses of “The Wheels on the Bus…” ending with “The mama on the bus says good night Melina.” Kai’s also learned to join in, so the Jelly Bean gets a whole chorus. For a while Joey had no idea we did this, and now knows why Meli threw a fit on the rare occasions Daddy put her to bed. He’d simply put her down with a quick “Good night” - but has now changed his ways.

Melina’s favorite toys are anything she can put into and pull out of containers and move around the house, in a purse, bag, wagon, or mini-stroller. She also loves pocket-sized items, especially Burt’s Bees apricot oil in a little plastic bottle and a small pink penguin she got from the doc’s office. Her favorite birthday “present” from Grandma and Grandpa is a little bear full of honey to use on her yogurt. She carries “honey bear” all over the house, and puts him to sleep in the little plastic baggie he arrived in. Needless to say, we haven’t broken the honey seal just yet.

Melina still loves animals (stuffed and real) and putting on shows, with or without Kai. About a month ago she had fun naming her animals in front of the video camera. She also loves puzzles, stringing beads, opening and closing drawers a hundred times over, and trying to figure things out. She’s obsessed with buckles, on her booster seat, car seat, and stroller, plus my backpack and any others she can find. She’s really good at buckling them but doesn’t have the strength (yet) to open one.

I’ve been picking Melina up from daycare on my bike once a week and she usually loves it. Every so often she’ll get antsy and ask for “hat off,” but if I help her look for dogs or cats on the street she gets distracted right away. If she sees one and I ask her what color it is, she now says “white!” instead of “blue.” It’s like she has a single favorite color word each month. I wonder when she’ll start catching on for real. Maybe in preschool?

That’s our next big transition: Melina starts at Kai’s old preschool later this month! I’ve been taking her for weekly visits since mid-May and she’s already a fan of Miss Lisa, the slide, and the great new garden the kids helped plant. But I think her favorite things are the tot-sized sinks throughout the school. A whole world of water within her easy grasp!

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The night before her birthday party Melina said to me, “Mama, happy to you Mina.” Yes! And then, “Baa baa black sheep.” Sure! She likes to sing the song but I wasn’t sure what she was getting at until she suddenly ran to the kitchen and called me over to show off the bag full of celery we’d bought for party guests to feed the goats, cows, and sheep. She had remembered how we’d celebrate and was ecstatic just thinking about it. Her smile made my day.

We officially celebrated Melina’s second birthday with a joint “June 1-2-3″ party at Tilden’s Little Farm. Her play group buddies Dalia (June 2) and Joey (June 3) also have early June birthdays, and between our three families we filled an entire corner of the picnic area with almost 70 guests. Everyone had a grand time, despite the winter-like weather on the last day of May.

Besides her weekly play group, some of Melina’s guests included her cousins Lucas and Noah, her yoga babe buddies Suli, Raycer, and Julien, plus Grandma and Grandpa Weiss, and a number of family friends. Kai made Melina a birthday crown (which she refused to wear) and had been so excited on behalf of his little sis that he “accidentally” woke her up at 6am. At the party Melina enjoyed munching on watermelon but was most excited to see the animals. According to Daddy at one point she fed a sheep half a celery stick then decided to finish the other half herself.

The fun continued today, her actual birthday. When I wished Melina a big happy birthday as I pulled her out of her crib, she smiled and told me “baa baa black sheep… feed goat.” Besides the song, birthdays must now signify animals to her. Luckily, we’d already planned a birthday trip to the Oakland Zoo with Grandma and Grandpa Weiss. Since Daddy has vacation before starting a new job, he was able to join us, too.

We polished off the big day with a trip to the park for our weekly play group, then to Jupiter for pizza with Daddy and play group friends Joey, Lily, and Tavi and their families. Melina opened a few presents yesterday and today but still has a stack of them on the dining room table. Kai will be excited to watch her open them when he’s with us again tomorrow night. So far his favorite (because at this age the toys are really all for both of them) is a big easel from Grandma and Grandpa. But Melina’s is a tiny board book with Maisy’s favorite farm animals.

Happy birthday, Jelly Bean!

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On Mother’s Day we visited Children’s Fairyland in Oakland. Melina had fun riding the pint-sized train, looking at furry animals (including an alpaca!) and running down Alice’s rabbit hole. Then she spotted a great big pumpkin that was obviously a place where grown-ups could buy treats.

She stood staring at it from a distance for a good five minutes, probably scoping out the hot chocolates and cookies coming through its big window. As soon as the little barstools at the window cleared out, she walked up, moved the pink stool to the center, climbed on, and patiently waited for at least another five minutes. Through all this, she didn’t say a single word.

Joey and I thought it was so ridiculously cute that he stood in line to buy Melina a chocolate biscotti. The little girl got exactly what she wanted and we got a good laugh (and lots of pictures). Manipulative? Perhaps. And a stark contrast to how Kai probably would have demanded a treat (and in the process blown his chances of getting one) in the same situation.

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This Mother’s Day I had a special essay published in the online magazine Literary Mama.

I invite you to read my piece, called “Stepping Into Mamahood.” If the title isn’t hint enough, it’s about Kai and me. And it will give you an insight into one mama’s perspective on stepparenthood.

Happy Mother’s Day to mamas and mama figures everywhere!

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Birthday season is in full swing at our house: We’ve been to two parties in as many weeks and have several more lined up before Meli’s own at the end of the month. Between the parties and a music together class where we also sing “happy birthday” on a near-weekly basis, Melina has the words (almost) down!

Here she wishes buddy Connor, who turned two yesterday, a very happy birthday.

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At Big Two minus one month, Melina is all tenacity and resourcefulness, and most always with a smile.

Her favorite tool these days is the stool she and Kai use to brush their teeth and help us cook. At age two Kai was always content to leave it at that. Not Meli. She’ll move it to any spot where she needs a bit more height: A kitchen or bathroom drawer, our bed, a bar stool en route to the counter, and most recently, our dresser. Daddy puts the stool in “time outs” periodically (usually when he’s tired of re-directing Melina - he simply puts the stool out of her reach and sight). The other day he took it away as she tried to climb to our dresser. She didn’t even blink, but immediately grabbed her toy shopping car, laid it on its side, on started to climb. Only when daddy took that away too did she scream.

She can (and does) open the front door pretty easily, so we always latch the chain when she’s home. If we forget, she reminds us, which always makes me laugh. She’s also figured out how to work the baby locks on our bathroom drawers. She’s been able to open those by yanking for a while (so we don’t keep anything un-baby-safe in them) but she now understands to push and hold the plastic lever down to close. I fear it won’t be long before she’s able to open the real off-limits cabinets, too.

Melina’s been enjoying her wooden puzzles, one with animals, one with shapes, and one with numbers, this past month. She methodically picks up one piece at a time, either says or asks for its name, then positions it back into its spot. Once she’s finished all the pieces she moves onto the next puzzle. She also enjoys packing her own lunch containers into her lunch bags (yes, she eats so much she has two), and loves toting around all sorts of treasures in a purse from Auntie Stacie or in newly-discovered clothing pockets… so much that she now won’t wear any hoodie sweater that doesn’t have pockets.

We finally bought a tot bike seat for the back of my bike. Meli loves it! In fact, she was so excited about the idea of the seat, that before we had a chance to install it she was trying to climb into it as it lay on the floor. Since it doesn’t stand upright on its own, she ended up pinned under it, crying out “stuck, Mama, stuck!” before we knew what she was up to. She wasn’t too keen on wearing her helmet until she experienced the fun of riding the bike. Now whenever she sees it she asks “bike, bike!” I love it too: The other day as I rode her home from a play group she told me knock knock jokes the entire ride: “Knot knot.” “Who’s there?” “Mama.” “Mama who?” “Mamadada.”

Melina is fascinated with busses. Maisy drives a bus in one of her books, and when she wakes up in time, Melina also gets to accompany Kai to his school bus stop on the corner. Every time we pass a bus in the car she yells out “Mama, see, bus!” Downtown Berkeley is especially exciting because she gets to see up to five at once. The other day we passed by a stopped bus picking up passengers and she started tugging at me to go “Up, up bus!” She loves playing “The Wheels on the Bus” song on the CD player in her room, and now knows how to climb on Kai’s bed and push the start button on the CD player all by herself.

Melina still loves animals, especially cats and dogs. She’ll pull Thor’s brush out of its drawer and bring it to him, as if he could brush himself. (Wouldn’t that be nice?) The other day she tried to point out a cat she saw in a window. “What color is it?” I asked. “Blue.” For Melina (and apparently most her almost-two friends) everything is the color blue. I wonder why blue?

She still adores her brother to no end. As soon as we arrive at his school in the afternoons she yells “Brobro Kai! Brobro Kai!” long before he’s anywhere in sight. Sometimes at night she, more a night person than Kai, will try to rile him into staying awake from her crib by yelling the same thing. Once in bed, he ignores her. But he adores her right back at all other times. He visibly relishes the role of big brother. The other day in the car, completely out of the blue, he told us: “I’d like to have another little sister.”

Finally, a funny video of Meli and Kai, all tongues, at the dinner table.

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After a brief spout of April rain I think (or hope) that spring has arrived for good. Meli loves her new sundresses, even though Mama makes her wear stretch pants underneath when she’s running around the yard or a park. And I’m sure the dresses won’t stay springtime clean for long.

Kai and Meli both had fun seeing what the Easter bunny brought, though Kai more than Melina. He was convinced the Easter bunny had arrived after he woke up and was watching cartoons in the living room. “He snuck in so quietly I didn’t even hear him!” Melina was more interested in putting her blankie in her basket than looking at the little toys and Teddy Grahams she’d gotten.

Last week we had our last (for now) in a series of wine tasting adventures. This time we headed over two hours northeast to Amador County with our friends the Zarlings. Peter’s a big fan of Amador zins, and belongs the Vino Noceto wine club. Wine tasting with four kids (ages almost 1, almost 2, 4, and 6) was definitely a challenge, but the bigger ones had fun running around the various picnic grounds and feasting on pizza in small town Plymouth before we headed home.

Finally, Melina can count to 10! She got a kick out of counting “1, 2, 3″ before jumping into the warm pool when we swam on Friday. This morning she made it all the way to 10.

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