It’s sometimes hard to know what to do with a six-week-old. Besides our games of “where’s my smile?” and “stick your tongue out like mama” (she loves both), Melina and I go on lots of walks. We don’t live in a great neighborhood, but once I started to explore was happy to find a couple parks and a good-vibe cafe/bakeshop within blocks of our house. I also make a habit of packing her up in the car so we can drive to nicer (quieter) and more interesting (loads of window shopping and cafes) areas.

Berkeley Crime Alert The downside of all this? A couple weeks ago I saw the sign pictured here posted on telephone polls in one of those “nicer” areas. Suddenly, visions of Melina and I being mugged at semi-automatic gunpoint became an unwelcome guest on our walks. I began to think our poorer, “transitional” neighborhood might in fact be safer. After all, people look for money in richer areas, right?

But two days later Joey called with news of a story he’d just read in a Berkeley paper: A crime wave has hit our small city, mostly in our little corner. Five shootings occured in the last three weeks, all within a mile of our home and two at the corner of our block. The fact that they were likely targeted and gang-related offers little comfort, especially now that I’m frequently out and about. I imagined Melina or myself getting caught in the cross-fire. My stomach dropped with fear, then tightened with anger, frustration, even bitterness. I felt trapped.

Yet I continue to walk. I refuse to hole up in our house – it’s not good for either one of us. Of course I now carry very little with me, even when I go to the store. I try to stick to busy (albeit less pleasant) streets. I drive to more distant, perhaps safer?, neighborhoods. I think about moving, however financially impractical it would be. And I keep my eyes wide open, much as I do when I travel. It’s unfortunate, though. I don’t mind being uber-vigilant when on the road or traipsing through a foreign land. It’s all part of the adventure. But having to do so at home makes it feel less like home. And having an infant daughter puts a whole new spin on what I’m willing to risk, not to mention the attitude I take to the open streets.

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