Monaloca

I return to work in less than one week. To put things into perspective, I’m going back just three days/week, and my office is less than one mile from our house. Meli’s daycare is a little over a mile away in the opposite direction, making the distance just a short drive – or long walk in the event of an emergency.

My feelings about this imminent transition are all over the map.

– It will be nice to have some uninterrupted time to just be ME, even if it’s in front of a computer in an office cubicle.
– Meli’s so interactive and FUN these days. I don’t want to miss anything and I know I will.
– She’s also super social. I’m sure she’ll enjoy being around the other babies.
– I’ve scheduled in time to write. Meli is signed up for daycare four days/week. I only go into work three. The trick will be my own discipline.
– It feels like a huge chapter of our lives together is coming to a close. Who am I kidding? This isn’t just a feeling. It’s a very real transition and it’s going to be tough – if only in terms of nostalgia – no matter how many positive things result.
– The daycare center is fantastic.
– I’m going to miss her like crazy.

Most importantly, I’m starting to realize that while I have the new mom thing down, I have no idea how to balance my new role with my old life. I can’t even find a regular day to go to “big people” yoga these days (though I somehow manage to take both kids to their classes a few times/month).

There’s something very comforting about having such focus to your days. When I left the hospital on June 3 the nurse said “You have three jobs. Feed the baby, feed yourself, and get some rest.” It’s funny to think back on how hard that was at the time. It wasn’t long before we added “play” to our routine, but Jelly Bean has been the absolute center of my days for nearly six months now.

I do find comfort in knowing that going forward I’ll get to accomplish so much more with my days, and re-discover parts of myself I started to miss by the time she was around six weeks old. Plus, we have loads of new friends now to add to our lively mix. Again, the big trick will be balance, balance, balance…

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